Some 360 days later (1)

Last year, around the same period, i was unemployed and enjoying it, actually. I had the right excuse to make me feel ok with my situation –  i was a student, i was writing my thesis ( nevermind that in reality i wasn’t) and thus it was ok  for me not to have a job. I slept late, went out almost every night, had erratic eating habits and never said no to a beer.

Well, this year, i [will] have another excuse. After all, i worked so hard this past year, i have accumulated some funds and i deserve a break. And the story will repeat itself.

Or will it? Will i let it? Am i a better person this year? Am i more motivated, more confident, more in touch with who i really am and what i want to do with my life? Have i grown, have i become more mature?

I have certainly gained more experience slash confidence. I did after all make it here in the BlueCo, although i am not sure whether my perception of  fast paced environment is real. After all, i do not have constant personal contact with anyone, and thus, even though my inbox and my corporate chat is burning, i may still have a sip of my coffee, i can take my time to breathe in and breathe out, i can count to 10 before i send a reply and i can actually review my answers and thus make sure that i have used the proper words, a calm tone and an appropriate attitude.

All of the above are, however, not going to help me in my future job. Everybody makes mistakes, especially in a new position. So what will i do when instead of getting an e-mail saying that “X and Y and Z is wrong please review..” i will actually see that person in front of me and they will raise their voice, they might throw the file on my table and they might storm out of my work area. So no, i am not sure that the experience at the BlueCo has prepared me for that.

Does it happen, these days?  People letting emotions rule them, not keeping their serenity at work, acting on impulse? Or are they diplomatic, amiable and smile while  thinking  to themselves how incompetent you are?


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