Waiting for the coin to fall

Flip a coin for it, they say. And while the coin is in the air, you will know, deep inside, how you wish it would land. And there you would have it –  the decision.

Well , for me, the coin is in the air right now.

A couple of months ago, after i signed a brand new but short term contract with the BlueCo, i started looking for another placement, for “security” beyond September –  as i called it in my talks with my supervisor; i was ” exploring my professional options”, as i was writing in my motivation letters and i was ” looking for new career possibilities”, as i termed it during my [two] interviews. However, i was not doing all that i could –  i was applying for the jobs that came my way, while not seeking any myself. I was “searching for the right fit” in large companies, although i know that is not where my place is, and i was concentrated on only three of them: the BlueCo (in another country –  coffee is great here it Italy, but i am looking to “expand my horizons”), the GreyCo, in some countries, and the EveryoneWantsToWorkThereCo, from which of course i have not had a single reply. The BlueCo is also ignoring my CV, even if its own name is the proud star of my CV. The GreyCo, however, has answered one of my prayers-i mean applications-, and has offered me an interview for not really the job i applied for, but for a job nontheless. It is long term, it offers acceptable rewards, it is within a new young team and it is in Ireland. The job is very close to what i am doing right now, so i wouldn’t really be “exploring new areas”, but i am qualified for that position and the GreyCo is a really nice name to add to my CV. So i went for it. 

The interviews with the GreyCo coincided with the interviews for another company, which i interviewed with but in the end, they went for someone with more experience. This is the ButtonsCo, and i will mention it more at large in another post. Suffice to say that i was a bit distracted at the beginning, having to deal with the interview process for 2 different companies, but at least they were both in the e-services business, so my motivational speech had some common points.  However, i guess that fact made me more confident ( and less desperate) – after all, i was feeling a bit on top of the hill,  with not one,  but 2 companies wanting me.

And then only one remained.

The GreyCo likes talking to me on the phone. However, the latter has presented with a lot of issues :  first of all,  in August i was vacationing at home, and after 1 call my roaming ate all my credit and thus my Italian number was out. I gave the GreyCo another number, but the phone i was using was not really top of the class. Second of all, when i came back to Italy, i started going to the office every day in an attempt to get rid  some of the habits i had developed while working at home…  However, here, within the walls of the BlueCo, there is no reception. So yes, i had to set up  call meetings  with the GreyCo and go outside, in order to take those calls. And, as expected, just a few steps away from the company walls, at all times, there are some other 20 people talking on the phone, obviously having the same connectivity issues.

I was invited to an onsite interview, but unfortunately, they could not offer me reimbursement for travel costs. As i was about to refuse continuing the selection process, i was offered the opportunity to carry on 3 phone interviews instead. I accepted.

On the said day, i was awaiting the calls at home, in my usual office attire : the pajamas. All 3 calls went smoothly –  or so i think –  as i found common language with the persons at the other end of the line, we discussed my credentials, do’s and dont’s in different situations, results and solutions to specific problems. But there is no way to know for sure in this cases, and so i waited.

In the meantime, and even before the final interviews, close people around me were asking me whether i want a positive answer. I did not really have an answer, but right now, as i mention at the beginning of this post, the coin is in the air. I have scheduled a call in about 34 minutes ( i have to go outside) , and i will know then whether i am in or not.

So now, what do i want said to me, with a very charming Irish accent?

On one side, here i am, already imagining how i will be searching for an apartment and how i would like to live alone; i am already thinking what things i will have to take with me, and what first impression i would like to make…. This job would certainly offer me some of the stability and the certainty that i am so desperately looking for. It would be difficult, but i would be building a brighter future for me, i would meet new people, i would learn new things… It would be a new, clean, fresh start. A second ( or third, or whatever) chance.

But on the other side, it would be all i say i want to avoid… I would be far far away from home again, all on my own, in a foreign country ( where, on top of it all, it rains a lot), starting over yet again.

As i was writing the above, i realize that these are just excuses –  my fears of the unknown, of being back into the pit of lions again. Well, i escaped it once, and i will do it again. After all, i am supposedly wiser now than i was about a year ago, when the BlueCo lions were out to get me. And all in all, this is a great opportunity, and yes, it might be hard, but it sure is worth it.

So yes, the coin is still in the air, but i want it to be heads. A heads up for the future to come.

And now that i know i want this job, i have to wait and see. Are they calling to congratulate me? Or are they going to tell me they are sorry, but they went for someone else? Either way, it has been a nice trip.


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