Choose what you want to be (I Choose To Be Happy – Lizzie Valasquez)

I Choose To Be Happy –  Lizzie Valasquez (TEDxYouthAustin)

Yes, these are the people who deserve our total admiration and respect !

It is actually kinda funny how i started writing a post about the current perception of beauty now, when i am on a diet, worrying that i am not “pretty enough” or ” light enough” ( there, i said it)

We currently have a narrow perception of what beauty is, but compared to the past, we have come a long way. I remember my grandmother saying that when she was little, “the weird” people lived in a separate part of the village, across the hill, and later, across the river as well. And i always wondered what she meant by that : why were those people “weird”? And, also, i kept thinking how lonely they must feel, way over there across the river, without the possibility to freely go into town, to talk to someone or to buy a piece of bread.  That is why they all gathered to live in a separate part of the village : it was their own “weird” place, where nobody was “weird” because they were all the same. Outcasts.

I did not go to the other side of the village, as i was taught to be afraid. Too bad though –  i am sure the people there would have had so much to tell me, teach me, show me. And weirdly enough, what i have been told ever since i was little ( to beware of the “weird people”) did not really stick. It is true that i am not really searching for their company, but should it happen to me to be close to a person that is “different”, i do not step away. They might have something interesting to say, as they see life from such a different perspective.

For example, a few nights ago, in the subway station, there was only one seat available  – next to a physically challenged man. I sat there; he was on the phone. He sounded very normal –  it was just his exterior that was “different”. Also, it sounded like he had a normal job, and that next month he would go on a business trip –  which was also nice to hear. So yes, people have already passed over some of their prejudices, they accept the “different” more now than they did in the past….  And it made me smile.

After his call, he eventually looked at me and said :  ” Find a man that opens the door for you, pays for dinner and knows that it is you whom he wants to spend the rest of his life with”. Sweet, right?

So yes, i admire the “weird” people, because everything comes harder for them. And still, they find the will power and the strength not to give up, and, a lot of the times, they achieve much more than a “normal” person. Because they know how to love themselves the way they are, they are more accepting of others and they know that all that really matters is what you do and who you are –  not what you look like.

Just give me a reason – Pink feat Nate Ruess

She: Just give me a reason
Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second we’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It’s in the stars
It’s been written in the scars on our hearts
We’re not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

He : I’m sorry I don’t understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin’
And it’s all in your mind
(Yeah, but this is happenin’)

Sound familliar, boys and girls ?   :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

Wednesday, day 5

To my above statement “Don’t believe all you hear, don’t spend all you have and don’t sleep all you want” i could easily add another another element, and, to be more specific “ and don’t eat what you want”.

Yep, this is it : Diet, Day5.

It is not like I actually have a choice.  I do not believe all I hear,  as when I am told that X will be done on Monday morning, it is done on Tuesay, Y should have been off on Wednesday, it happened on Saturday, I was told I was getting a notification, I did not, Z was supposed to be working on Thursday, and it started showing signs of movement on Tuesday next week. So no, it has been a while since I believed all I heard.

Don’t spend all you have –   hah, easy when you do not have much reserves and a lot of future scheduled expenses. I do need a white summer bag, though….

 Don’t sleep all you want –   also easy when you live in a shared apartment with 4 girls and only 1 bathroom. Each evening, before going to bed, we assign “ Morning Bathroom usage slots” : we decide at what time each one of us will wake up and using the facilities. This morning, the slots 6:55, 7:05 and 7:15 were all taken before I could finish my evening chores, and so I was left with the 6:45 one ( 7:25 and later is not really an option given the time frame available for the morning duties: preparing the food that was not ready in the evening, ironing, making tea and then not drinking it etc) I usually even prefer the morning slot, as it gives me a bit of flexibility ( and more time) and thus I am confident that one of these days I will actually manage to drink my tea IN THE MORNING and not in the evening, when I get home.

This morning my room-mate jumped out of bed at the sound of my alarm  :  she was trying to steal my slot :)

And last but not least,

Do not eat all you want –   I had heard about the Dukan Diet from my sister, and she said that even if she did not really follow it to the letter, it still worked. So I thought I would give it a try, in an effort to 1. Get ready for swimsuit season/going to the seaside 2. Maybe look better in a tight orange dress I recently acquired / and in last year clothes  and 3. To save some money.

Well, the last point was not achieved, as protein is kinda expensive…  as about the 1^st two points, I am still hoping. Hoping and weighing myself on a scale that is not really accurate, it is + / –  1 kg..  we are not sure which.

Day 1 of diet was ok, I guess, as I was only getting used to the food. The roommate that is also on a diet ( let’s call her G), has tricked me into buying low fat milk products, and I, naively, used them as a substitute for fat free milk products ( which now I know is not the same). And thus on day 1 and 2 I actually ate only salt free chicken and turkey breast, boiled eggs and these low fat  instead of  fat free  milk products. Fact that has probably rendered the whole diet useless.

I decided to not cave, howerver, and continued, on Monday, with the second stage of the died: Adding the Veggies. These days have not been so bad, actually, as I enjoy eating tomatoes as a snack, and I actually really like grilled peppers and zucchini. The meat is also better: I am adding a bit of lemon juice for the taste.

So I guess I am fine so far, if you do not count in the SUGARLESS tea and coffee. No AMERICANO MACCHIATOs either.

And it is a shame. My last days here in Italy, and I cannot have a decent cup of coffee. OK, I can have just coffee, with no milk and no sugar, it is just not the same….

In the next phase ( this current phase is supposed to last 6 days, but I am cutting it short to 5 : aaah this diet is not really according to the book anyway) I am allowed 2 celebration meals per day. And I am actually thinking of going to an ALL YOU CAN EAT Chinese restaurant on Saturday…..

Yes. Tomorrow i start to diet.

“Stop whining; work with what you have and make the best of it”

It does somehow look like no matter what, i am not happy. And i consider myself a positive person :)  Up till now, i was busy. Very busy. I had little or no time to myself, fact that has jeopardized aspects such as appearance ( nail polish, hair styling and other girly stuff), aspects of health ( increased consumption of alcohol, fast food, little – ooook, NO excercise) and aspects of personal growth ( reading, blogging/creating,  learing something new). However now, when i am faced with the possibility of having too much time to myself, i am terrified.

But ok, i said, i will work with what i have. I am stuck here in Italy for at least 2 more weeks? Ok, it will  exactly give me the opportunity to diet, to exercize and to actually secure a healthy future (in more than one way). So i guess not all is bad.

Of course i wanted to go home and spend the evenings with my family/friends, in a non-italian environment where outside one does not melt. But, ok, i am working with what i have :)

Tomorrow is the first day. Let’s see how that goes.